Letting Love In: Processing Grief, Trauma, and Hard Emotions with Essential Oils

The Constance of Change

Recently, I was listening to a podcast with a well-known influencer. She mentioned that 2025 was a pivotal year for release. This sentiment resonated with many of her followers, for various reasons.

Yet, in my experience letting go is not subject to a moment in time or is compressed within a specific time frame. Loss and change are an inevitable part of life that remains constant. A big component of our happiness, contentment, and satisfaction is based on how we cope with these challenging transitions of life.

In this video blog, I discuss the multi-dimensions of grief and loss. I also describe how essential oils affect brain and mental health and can help us to process loss and trauma.

Topics include:

• The possibility of post-traumatic growth
• Why grief is so “messy”
• How grief impacts the brain and body
• The common stages associated with grief
• The persistence of grief
• How essential oils can holistically assist with dealing with grief
• A Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) perspective on grief and how aromatherapy can nourish the organs connected it

In the next post, I will continue exploring how essential oils affect the brain and highlight specific ones that can be used for various symptoms of grief. I will also review how the Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT) can get one unstuck and aid the transformation of hard emotions.

As always, all the resources, references, and links will be available in this accompanying article.

So, let’s get started.

 

Coping with Loss and Post-Traumatic Growth

Research indicates that people who apply positive coping skills while maximizing their character strengths have the ability to come out of trauma in a better state than which they entered. This exemplifies post-traumatic growth (PTG).

PTG often co-occurs with post-traumatic depreciation (PTD). This means we have the capacity to evolve for the better while experiencing pain.

Here’s the clincher though, PTG is less likely to occur in those with mental health issues, which are very prevalent in today’s population. Furthermore, stigma and the inability to access resources and professional help can prevent many people from achieving PTG.

Still, the fact that PTG is possible means we can shift from a helpless and sad state into a more resilient one. However, this is not a simple process.

Grief is “messy.” Many people don’t realize that it is not just an emotional wound. It is a construct that creates lasting imprints on the brain.

 

How Grief Affects the Brain and Body

Losing someone you love or experiencing the shock of a life-threatening situation can change your brain activity and cause dysregulation in the nervous system. This can impact every aspect of one’s being, leading to emotional, physical, and behavioral changes. Many of these effects can mimic mental health conditions.

Below is a breakdown of the various mind, cognitive, and physical manifestations of grief.

 

Emotional and Cognitive Effects of Grief

During grief and loss, people can experience the entire spectrum of emotions — from sadness to anger to joy. Some can also feel detached from feeling any of their emotions.

Many others may notice changes in their cognition and more difficulty with focusing on tasks, memory, and problem-solving abilities.

 

Physical Symptoms of Grief

Grief can be taxing on the body, causing a weakened immune system and many physical symptoms. These include:

• Headaches (prolonged)
• Digestive problems
• Heart palpitations
• Insomnia and sleep issues
• Fatigue
• Nervous system symptoms (dizziness, etc.)
• Aches and pains
• … and more

 

A Summary of the Most Common Symptoms of Grief, Loss, and Trauma

A summary of the most frequent expressions of grief, loss, and trauma include:

• Anxiety
• Numbness
• Sadness
• Anger
• Flashbacks
• Nightmares
• Memory changes
• Being easily startled
• Difficulty focusing
• Feelings of detachment
• Physical ailments
• Poor immune response

 

Are There Stages to Grief?

Grief is often described in stages. This is based on the observations of grief in the dying by Elizabeht Kubler-Ross which include:

• Denial
• Anger (toward others, oneself, God, or no specific source)
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

These phases are not linear and not everyone experiences all of them. Some psychologists also feel that they are not applicable to everyone experiencing grief and may even be confusing to those who are struggling.

 

Why Grief Can Be Prolonged

Studies show that unresolved trauma or grief persists in the brain making it hard for someone to “just move on.”  Specifically, the mind continues to replay the event, triggering ongoing emotional and physical responses as if it was still occurring.

This representation of the trauma often remains in the limbic system, the brain’s center for emotion regulation. It particularly embeds itself in the amygdala, which is responsible for threat detection. As a result, one’s mind and body are constantly on high alert.

This heightened state means that even minor cues—like a triggering scent, a sound, or a phrase—can activate a grieving person’s stress hormones. As a result, their body may respond as if the initial traumatic incident is happening again at that moment. This reinforcement strengthens the imprinting of the trauma in their brain. This can lead to impaired functioning and a decline in their quality of life.

Recovery from grief is based on individual factors, access to support, and various types of grief. As noted above, this emotion can be taxing on our organ systems, and complications can occur from prolonged grief, so it’s important to seek aid.

 

Essential Oils for Processing Grief and Trauma

Aromatic plants affect our mental and mood states instantly through our sense of smell. Scent reaches the limbic system directly, right at the brain’s center for memory and emotion. This triggers emotional responses before we consciously identify them. As a result, aromatic plants influence deeper layers of the subconscious, supporting healing and processing of emotions that are embedded in our minds.

This means that inhaling or applying essential oils can aid emotional well-being and interrupt the imprint of trauma on the brain by redirecting our neural pathways through smell. This can promote feelings of security, ease emotional barriers, and assist with healing. Furthermore, the biochemical properties of these aromatic allies can help to harmonize bodily symptoms resulting from the stress of dealing with hard emotions.

It’s important to note that each plant acts differently on one’s body, mind, and spirit. One’s response to them will vary based on their memory-based odor associations and smell preferences. Therefore, choosing aromatics that are comforting when one is highly reactive is an integral part to holistically healing from trauma with essential oils.

 

Traditional Chinese Medicine, Essential Oils, and Grief

According to Chinese medicine, grief is associated with the lungs. This could be a reason why people may struggle with respiratory complications on the anniversary of a traumatic loss.

Due to the fact that the lung’s balancing organ is the large intestine, supporting both organs is often needed to help someone “take in and digest their emotions” more effectively. TCM also emphasizes that the kidneys should be considered to help heal grief, as they supply energy for body functions.

Clinical aromatherapist and herbalist, Jennifer Pressimone explains this interconnection as follows: the kidneys supply energy, the lungs distribute this energy, and the large intestine facilitates its exchange through transport.

Jennifer believes that Cinnamomum camphora is the most beneficial and profound essential oil to use when managing and shifting emotions of grief. She writes:

It’s pleasant, camphoraceous yet sweet and uplifting scent offers comfort to the grieving lungs (no pun intended) and helps dispel “old”, lingering grief. It encourages healthy function of the lungs and stimulates the movement via the lymphatic system of this deep seeded grief. This movement of stagnation is necessary for one to overcome grief enhanced ailments…

 

The Grief Support Nasal Atomizer

Jennifer also offers a Grief Support Nasal Atomizer recipe with a combination of essential oils to assist with recovery from loss and trauma:

On an unscented scent wick of the nasal atomizer, one can add.

• 5 drops Bergamot, Citrus bergamia
• 5 drops Ravintsara, Cinnamomum camphora
• 3 drops Frankincense, Boswellia carterii
• 3 drops Eucalyptus, Eucalyptus globulus
• 2 drops Rose, Rosa damascena

Application: Smell this blend several times a day to nurture and support your heart and lungs during times of grief.

 

Summary on Coping with Loss and Change and How Essential Oils Help to Process Grief and Trauma

Grief can leave a lasting imprint on the brain and affects emotions, physical health, and behavior. Aromatic plants impact mood through scent, targeting the limbic system, where trauma is embedded in the brain. As a result, essential oil can aid healing and promote relaxation, reduce stress, and support overall well-being to help one better cope with grief and move forward. These aromatic allies also address the physical aspects of dealing with loss.

In Chinese medicine, grief is connected to the lungs which are balanced by the large intestine and assisted by the kidneys. Essential oils like bergamot, frankincense, eucalyptus, and rose can help to nourish these organs and aid in processing and releasing grief emotionally and physically.

By enhancing our coping skills, using essential oils, and seeking support during challenging transitions, we can move into a state of post-traumatic growth and come out stronger with more resilience.

What is your experience with grief and have oils helped?

Please feel free to share and comment below.

In the next post, I will review specific essential oils that can be used for grief and the AFT method to rewire the brain after trauma.

Many blessings and a comforting hug to all those dealing with hard emotions.

Dr. Sarah